Sunday, July 10, 2011
Monday, November 16, 2009
We can take out the swearing, make less abrasive, etc
Your shitty resume
Listen up fucknut. Don't explain two years of your life on your resume by writing "Relocation and travel." Relocation and travel? I'm sitting here in some flourescent office 9 hours a day thinking about the time in your life when you had enough money to travel and relocate for two years? Fuck you. Fuck you and your travel.
Recruiters are in a business frame of mind when they're reading your resume. They're also comparing their life to yours. I've relocated before. It took awhile, yes, but I worked the whole time when I did it. I did the actual move over a weekend. I didn't miss any work. It certainly didn't take me two years and I didn't travel around and buy flowers and shit.
So my sympathy doesn't suddenly spring in to place when I read about your two vague years of travel and relocating. Come up with something better than that. I'd be more likely to call you if your resume said "I sat on my ass for two years because my girlfriend broke up with me and I was depressed." At least I could respect honesty. Your evasive, laconic ass on the other hand? Delete.
Posted by dannytribe19 at 8:27 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Answering questions
Hey you little shitmonkey. You got lucky. I, the recruiter, was nice enough to send you an email asking you a short, simple question to see if you were worth interviewing. All you had to do was ANSWER THE FUCKING EMAIL. Just answer it. Is the commute too far for you? Yes or no.
Seemed simple, didn't it? Not for you, though. You received an email from a recruiter and got ALL EXCITED. You saw my work number and decided to call me and leave a voicemail requesting I call you back as soon as possible. But guess what you didn't do? The one fucking thing I asked! Yes or no. Answer the goddamn question!
You didn't answer my question but, really, you kind of did. Because behind my seemingly simple query was another, more important question: Do you have the ability to follow simple instructions? To give potential colleagues information they need? To get to the fucking point?
Turns out you don't. What you do have is an ability to not listen, overreact, and be pushy. Thanks for the voicemail though. I had a great time deleting it. Also, just for the record--I hate you. Thanks.
Until next time everyone!
Listen up fucknut. Don't explain two years of your life on your resume by writing "Relocation and travel." Relocation and travel? I'm sitting here in some flourescent office 9 hours a day thinking about the time in your life when you had enough money to travel and relocate for two years? Fuck you. Fuck you and your travel.
Recruiters are in a business frame of mind when they're reading your resume. They're also comparing their life to yours. I've relocated before. It took awhile, yes, but I worked the whole time when I did it. I did the actual move over a weekend. I didn't miss any work. It certainly didn't take me two years and I didn't travel around and buy flowers and shit.
So my sympathy doesn't suddenly spring in to place when I read about your two vague years of travel and relocating. Come up with something better than that. I'd be more likely to call you if your resume said "I sat on my ass for two years because my girlfriend broke up with me and I was depressed." At least I could respect honesty. Your evasive, laconic ass on the other hand? Delete.
Posted by dannytribe19 at 8:27 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Answering questions
Hey you little shitmonkey. You got lucky. I, the recruiter, was nice enough to send you an email asking you a short, simple question to see if you were worth interviewing. All you had to do was ANSWER THE FUCKING EMAIL. Just answer it. Is the commute too far for you? Yes or no.
Seemed simple, didn't it? Not for you, though. You received an email from a recruiter and got ALL EXCITED. You saw my work number and decided to call me and leave a voicemail requesting I call you back as soon as possible. But guess what you didn't do? The one fucking thing I asked! Yes or no. Answer the goddamn question!
You didn't answer my question but, really, you kind of did. Because behind my seemingly simple query was another, more important question: Do you have the ability to follow simple instructions? To give potential colleagues information they need? To get to the fucking point?
Turns out you don't. What you do have is an ability to not listen, overreact, and be pushy. Thanks for the voicemail though. I had a great time deleting it. Also, just for the record--I hate you. Thanks.
Until next time everyone!
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